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A dad has been praised online for going behind his son's back to tell his expecting partner about his suspicious activities, but an expert told Newsweek she disagreed.

On Reddit's popular r/AITAH subreddit, user u/throwaway739h said that he caught his son hanging out with his ex-girlfriend, just days after announcing he is going to become a dad. The man added that he confronted his son, who said his current girlfriend was "ok" with him seeing his ex.

However, the dad had his doubts. He wrote: "I've been cheated on and it was a huge betrayal that I haven't forgotten about. My wife told me to drop it but I just didn't believe him when he said they decided to open up the relationship. I decided if she knew then if I asked her about it [then] it wasn't a big deal."

It quickly became apparent that the pregnant woman had no idea about the secret meetups as she burst into tears and left.

"A few hours later I [got] a call from my son who was screaming at me for interfering with his relationship. My wife is also extremely angry with me saying I was jeopardizing our chances of being in our grandchild's life," the dad wrote.

The post's heartbreaking conclusion says that they son and his partner broke up and she later had an abortion.

"My son and wife know it's my fault and say she wouldn't have found out if it wasn't for me. My wife has brought up divorce, saying I'm not loyal to my family so how can she know I'll be loyal to her? I'm so sad about how it ended and I'm regretting saying anything if this is the result," the dad wrote.

A YouGov survey of 2,000 U.S. adults found that 63 percent who have ever been in a monogamous relationship say they have never cheated on a partner; 33 percent said they have, either physically, emotionally, or both.

However, infidelity doesn't always mark the end of a relationship. The survey results found that 39 percent of Americans who broke up with a cheater say they eventually got back together with them. In some cases, the partner never finds out, according to 57 percent of cheaters.

Expert Advice

Newsweek discussed the post that has received more than 14,000 upvotes since yesterday (July 29) with psychologist Ana Aznar. The London-based parenting expert discussed the importance of boundaries between parents and their adult children.

Aznar said: "When we think about family relations, it is really important that we respect boundaries. Setting boundaries with an adult child is all about promoting mutual respect and a healthy relationship. In this case, the dad did not respect his son nor did he recognize his son's adulthood.

"It comes to a point when parents must accept that their child is an adult and they deserve autonomy and independence," added Aznar. "They must respect their choices and lifestyle, even if they do not agree with them. In this case, the dad should have respected his son's choices, even if he thinks that his son is making a mistake. As parents, our job is to love, give advice, and try to guide our children. If they decide not to listen to us, we cannot decide to take the matter into our own hands, as this dad did. It is not our place to control our children."

Reddit Reacts

The user has received a sea of support from over 3,500 commenters.

"Your son is a cheating d*******. Your wife was blinded by the desire to become a grandmother. The fact that both were happy to bring a child into that f***** up situation just to satisfy their own selfish needs is sickening. Grab that divorce offer and run for the hills, they both suck," posted one user.

"OP [Original poster], your son is an AH [a******] who brought this upon himself. And I'd be having a come to Jesus meeting with your wife, because she was totally willing to let this poor girl be saddled with your AH son for the next 18+ years in one form or another. Your son is too selfish and immature to have a baby. Thank goodness you told his ex what he was up to while she still had choices," wrote another user.

A third commenter added: "I'm sorry that your son is a cheater and unwilling to accept personal responsibility for his reprehensible actions. Your wife and son are both lunatics for thinking this is your responsibility even slightly."

Newsweek could not verify the details of the case as u/throwaway739h's account has been suspended.

Have you noticed any red flags that made you end a relationship? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

Uncommon Knowledge

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

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